• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Co-Parenting Solutions, LLC

Living Separately, Parenting Together: Solutions to Meet Your Family’s Unique Needs

  • Home
  • About
    • Jordana Wolfson
    • Resources
    • Testimonials
    • Client Forms
  • Services
    • Co-Parenting Counseling
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Mediation
    • Parenting Time Agreements
    • Parenting Time Coordination
    • Blended Families
  • Blog
  • Contact

Jordana Wolfson / August 21, 2022

Cell Phone Safety Series, Part 2

Spread the love

Why give a kid a cell phone?

To contact each parent independently. To have an emergency communication system at their fingertips. To be able to be tracked so you can keep an eye on them when they are out alone.

All good reasons.

But once you give a kid a cell phone, a whole new array of problems opens up. Starting with overuse of that device to the detriment of their intellectual and social-emotional development.

I’ve seen a disturbing trend among children of divorce where they use their parent-given cell phone to call the other parent with every problem that arises with the parent they’re with at the moment. Of course kids are going to have complaints and even issues with their parents! That’s normal.

What isn’t normal is turning to the other parent to play good cop-bad cop, or expect the parent to resolve all problems in their lives. Cell phones are making this pretty much the norm.

Kids in the 21st century are not learning to problem-solve like kids from earlier generations, who had open spaces and silence and inevitable face-to-face contact with people who caused them grief.

Photo by Taylor Heery on Unsplash

At a certain point, your kids do need to learn to advocate for themselves and problem-solve, and by constantly being available at the tap of a text or for a quick phone conversation, you’re depriving them of the ability to do so. 

Some kids call their parents with every little, tiny thing. Kids of divorced parents are typically pretty independent. We used to be able to manage our small issues when we couldn’t make calls all the time. But with the advent of cell phones, they’re calling parents with everything that crops up.

When a parent tries to take away a kid’s phone, the child might reply, “Well I have to have access to Mom.” Fair enough. Get a land line!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

If you’re concerned about the impact of too much screen time (who isn’t?), put their phone in a box and say they can use it to call the other parent but that’s it. You don’t want to get in trouble with the court if your kid claims they wanted to call the other parent but you did not allow it.

At the same time, when your child goes to the other parent, and you ask them to check in, who is that for? Your comfort, or theirs?

If you have a decent relationship with your kids, they’ll get in touch with you – when they want and need to. When they’re with the other parent, let them be with them. 

Children of divorce compartmentalize so they can fully be in one place and not always feel disrupted. Let them be where they are. 

Every time they are with one parent, they are away from the other parent and they miss them. When you call them a lot, are you making them miss you more?

Plus, calling too much can disrupt the other parent’s time, which is not fair. You can go a day or two without contact with your kid!

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Keep in mind, also, that when your child comes to you with a complaint, you are not hearing the whole story. The responsible thing to do would be to call your co-parent and say, “Hey, our child said this – what’s really going on?” 

A child might say, “Dad never feeds me – I’m starving!” when the other parent could be in the kitchen making mac and cheese as you speak. Benefit of the doubt goes a long way in co-parenting.

At a certain point, you have to trust your kids to make their own good choices, and if you’re constantly in touch with them, demanding that they call and respond all the time, they’ll never get there.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Co-Parenting Solutions

Footer

Contact

Spread the love

Co-Parenting Solutions
Jamestowne Executive Offices
31000 Telegraph Rd., Ste 280
Bingham Farms, MI 48025

248.330.5351
Email

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

About

Spread the love

Co-Parenting Solutions provides a multi-level approach to services that focuses on reducing parental conflict in order to enhance the child’s emotional functioning. Co-Parenting Solutions offers programs to address the relationship between separate households created as a result of separation or divorce.

Learn more | Book a Session

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

Follow Us on Facebook

Follow Us on Facebook

Copyright © 2023 Co-Parenting Solutions, LLC

  • Home
  • About
    ▼
    • Jordana Wolfson
    • Resources
    • Testimonials
    • Client Forms
  • Services
    ▼
    • Co-Parenting Counseling
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Mediation
    • Parenting Time Agreements
    • Parenting Time Coordination
    • Blended Families
  • Blog
  • Contact
Collaborative Divorce with Mental Health Professional Agreement
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Test Agreement

For testing only
Consent for In-Person Services During Covid-19 Public Health Crisis
  • Name of client or person acting as legal representative for the purposes of this agreement.
  • Email address of client or representative for purposes of this agreement.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Client Intake Form

Step 1 of 3

33%
  • Please list shared children name(s) and age(s), one per line.
  • Please list non-shared children name(s) and age(s), one per line.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Contract for Mediation Services
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Contract for Court-Related Services
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Contract for Co-Parenting Counseling and Skill Building Sessions
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Consent for Therapeutic Treatment
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Consent for Minor Therapeutic Treatment
  • Please add the first and last names, one per line, for each additional minor covered by this agreement.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Authorization to Release Confidential Information

Step 1 of 2 - Client / Signer Information

50%
  • One minor name and dob per line.
  • This information will be released to Jordana Wolfson, LMSW, MA, ED SP, of Co-Parenting Solutions, LLC.

  • Person / Agency Releasing Information

    List up to three entities that are authorized to release information.
  • Person / Agency Releasing Information #2

  • Person / Agency Releasing Information #3

  • Information to be Released

  • This authorization is in effect for up to 5 years from date of signature unless you rescind same in writing to Jordana Wolfson, 31000 Telegraph Road, Suite 280, Bingham Farms, MI 48025.

    Select all that apply.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Authorization for Teletherapy
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Credit Card on File Policy
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Notice of Privacy
  • Name of client or person acting as legal representative for the purposes of this agreement.
  • Email address of client or representative for purposes of this agreement.
  • MM slash DD slash YYYY
  • MM slash DD slash YYYY
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Contact Us

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Download our Co-Parenting FAQ

 

Loading Comments...