Divorce in the 21st century looks very different! Adults seeking to end their marriage have a variety of options and paths to do so, many of which do not require a court visit or arduous battle over who gets what.
Collaborative Divorce is an approach to the dissolution of a marriage where both parties agree to a more harmonious path to breaking up. There is no Defendant or Plaintiff, which establishes a positive team synergy. Each spouse hires a Collaboratively-trained attorney to represent them, and the attorneys build a Collaborative Team typically consisting of a neutral Divorce Facilitator and a neutral Financial Professional who is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. Others may be added to the team if needed, such as a Child Specialist in cases where custody issues are in dispute because of unique challenges with the children. All of these professionals work together as a team to help in this specially trained way of ending a marriage. This approach leads the parties to:
- Negotiate a mutually agreeable resolution without having to turn over power to the courts to decide what comes next
- Maintain open and respectful communication and a reasonable sharing of information
- Create shared solutions acknowledging the shared priorities of the family
Our role in Collaborative Divorce is to help parties navigate the often-challenging emotions that can arise during a divorce. So much of what makes divorce and post-divorce family life difficult is that people have a hard time managing emotions and channeling them in a healthy way. So much of this difficulty stems from unresolved childhood traumas.
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These familiar, but unhealthy patterns unknowingly hurt those we are in relationship with – including our children! Parents often forget that children love and inherit traits from both of their parents. While you may divorce your spouse, your children do not divorce their other parent.
Privacy
Details of divorce proceedings are typically open to the public, but in Collaborative Divorce, no information about the details are released or available to the public through the Court Explorer website. This protects your entire family’s privacy.
Collaborative Divorce is a reasonable way to put the control back in the hands of divorcing spouses, whose shared priority is their family’s long-term health. Collaborative Divorce is a great way to build a positive Co-Parenting relationship.
Efficiency
Not all pieces of the process require input from the entire team. I work directly with parents when creating Parenting Time Agreements for minor children, rather than including attorneys.
ARE YOU COMMITTED TO REDUCING THE TIME, FINANCIAL AND EMOTIONAL COSTS OF GOING TO COURT?
If so, Collaborative Divorce may be for YOU!
Jordana Wolfson is a board member and Past President of the Collaborative Practice Institute of Michigan.